Self-Love

Owning Our Stories is a Liberating Way to Live

I had the opportunity to take part in a pottery workshop where we handcrafted a clay herb pot. I don’t consider myself much of an artist per say. I did however love getting my hands dirty and generally find creative endeavors of any kind enjoyable.

During the class, the instructor reminded us that each step of forming our pots was not about perfection. He told us that the slight blemishes and so-called imperfections that are bound to occur, were actually the markings that made our pots one-of-a-kind and beautiful.

Those insightful words inspired me to own my pot with its irregularities and imperfections as a symbol of beauty. It also got me thinking how adopting this powerful mindset in life would serve me well.

So often in life, the experiences that leave us feeling raw and broken — or the traits we carry around that are viewed as different or strange —  can become our pain points we try with all our might to hide, minimize, label or beat ourselves up for.

What if the so-called blemishes, bumps, bruises and unique parts of our life stories are what make us beautiful? What if we embraced our imperfections instead of turning from them? Maybe the parts of us we strive to cover up and change are actually the markings that have shaped us into the amazing people we are.

I can’t help but jump on board with the theory that life is messy. Instead of pretending it’s not or becoming swallowed by the messiness, we are much better off to grant ourselves some compassion and courage to OWN all parts of our life story as being uniquely ours.

In an effort to help make this mindset stick, I made a list of six powerful reminders why owning all parts of our story is a liberating way to live. Perhaps they will ring true for you too.

Empowered Living Tip #1

Instead of worrying about fitting into the image of perfection, jump into life with both feet and have FUN! Get your hands dirty, do it your own way and enjoy whichever way YOU choose to live fully.

Empowered Living Tip #2

There is nothing wrong with admiring others for their unique traits or the ways they show up in life. Be inspired, allow it to fuel you — just remember not to be disillusioned that their way is better or yours is somehow inferior. You (and your story) is exactly as it should be and so is theirs. Stay true to who YOU are. When we fully accept and love ourselves, it becomes more natural to genuinely appreciate others for the unique ways they show up in the world too. Remember Mark Twain’s wise words: “Comparison is the death of joy.”

Empowered Living Tip #3

Gratitude is like magic — sprinkle that sh*t on everything! Sometimes it can seem nearly impossible and unnatural to see why or how we would ever feel grateful for things that hurt us or for losses we’ve experienced. There is no need to fake it or beat ourselves up for not feeling thankful for things that are hard to wrap our minds around. What we can do —  to liberate ourselves —  is to feel grateful for how we can weather the storms in life. We can feel grateful for our ability to care and love deeply, and therefore sometimes experience hurt and loss with that same intensity. If you can feel, you are human and that’s reason to be thankful all on its own — don’t you think?

Empowered Living Tip #4

If there are parts of your story that are especially hard or that you’d rather not yell from the mountaintops, reach out to someone close who is trustworthy and capable of allowing you to safely and openly share all parts of your story. There is no shame in reaching out —  just be sure to share sacred parts of your journey with people who respect and honor it as that. In other words, steer clear from those who’d like to see you fall.

Empowered Living Tip #5

Forgiveness and acceptance are gifts we have the ability to give ourselves, or not. Wishing something is a certain way when it isn’t —  or spending our lives obsessing over why something shouldn’t have happened when it already did — is the surest way to rob ourselves of joy (and drive ourselves crazy!). Life is precious. When we see it as that, it makes little sense to spend our time torturing ourselves about stories from the past or worries that have yet to come true. We don’t have to sugar-coat, forget or approve of hurtful behavior and events. But what we can do when we forgive ourselves and others for past hurts, is free ourselves of the burden of carrying around old stories. When we can accept life as it is in this very moment, we can open ourselves up to love where we are and better yet: Love who we are.

Empowered Living Tip #6

Compassion opens the gateway to owning all parts of our stories and is the key to embracing our worthiness. Much like art, life is not meant to be perfectly smooth, uniform and the same for everyone. When we can view ourselves with compassion for all roads we’ve traveled, all choices we’ve made and all ways we show up that make us uniquely who we are —  then we can open our eyes to see ourselves for the masterpieces we are.

Believe in Yourself – Emily

If you are interested in connecting to who you are on a deeper level, or if you would like to create a self-care and self-love practice — come on over and join our growing community within my E-Course, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’. It is a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you.

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Emily Madill

Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach (ACC), with a BA in Business and Psychology. She is one of Thrive Global’s editors-at-large and a coach at BetterUp. Emily has published 12 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; The Huffington Post; Thrive Global; TUT.com; Best Self Magazine; The Muse; MindBodyGreen; Emerging Women; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine; and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program, offering courses that support women to create lasting habits around self-love, self-awareness and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: emilymadill.com

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