Happiness Tips

Is It Time to Get Out of Your Own Way?

Do you ever feel like you are under a dark cloud, shadowing your every move? Does it sometimes seem like you can’t catch a break despite your hard work?

Many of us try much harder during our daily pursuit of life than we ought to. Sometimes, all our pushing and striving prevents us from enjoying our journey. It’s common practice to believe that the harder we work, the greater our reward will be. But what good will any reward bring us if we aren’t enjoying our moment-to-moment journey?

This moment is worth grabbing hold of. The dark cloud dissipates when we practice waking up to how we want to feel in our now moments. Focusing on how we want to feel now makes it easier to stop pushing against life. Tuning inward and caring about how we feel helps us stop striving ahead of life or lingering in previous versions of our lives.

If you believe you have some choice in how you perceive life, then making life harder than necessary becomes an obvious thing to stop doing. If you’ve been making life more challenging than required for a while, it may take extra practice, patience, and humour to steer your life towards smoother seas. Getting out of our own way is easier when we become aware that we are blocking our path. Knowing when it’s time to move out of resistance is a game changer in life.

Here are three helpful practices I use when I find myself making life much more complicated than it needs to be. These practices help me remember why it’s always a good idea to get out of my own way. Give them a try and see what shifts for you.

Practice #1: Let Pleasure In

Do you have one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake? If so, does it feel like you skip over opportunities to immerse yourself in the many pleasurable moments in your day? Getting out of our own way is about opening ourselves up to experience and enjoy the pleasures of life.

What brings you a sense of joy? If you’re not sure, spend some time creating a detailed list. If you are sure, spend some time fine-tuning your list and looking at ways you can allow yourself to take in the pleasures of your day. Then, spend time enjoying the day!

Many of us are experts at doing and amateurs at being – that’s okay. The best place to start getting more comfortable in our being is to surrender to play and fun. Let pleasure in. You’ll thank yourself.

Practice #2: Hit the Reset Button Often

Each day is a new day with new opportunities and challenges. Some days it will be easier to get out of our own way and move with the natural flow of our lives. On other days, we might find ourselves under the dark cloud again. Aiming for perfection in how we live life is unnecessary and unrealistic. The more we lean into the imperfection and messiness of it all, the easier it is to be gentle with ourselves through life’s storms.

Caring about how we feel means understanding the importance of being in tune with our feelings. This doesn’t mean we will always choose the path of bliss. We will experience all kinds of human emotions on our adventure. There is no need to get caught in the trap of thinking you should always be happy. Instead, give yourself the gift of knowing everything is temporary, and all emotions and storms eventually pass.

We can hit the reset button anytime and create space for a new path. Sometimes, we might create a reset through laughter and joy. Other times, we might require many more steps to access our laughter and joy. Sometimes, our reset might look like hitting the pause button to slow down the intensity of our emotions.

There is no right or wrong way to live. As artists of our adventure, we must remind ourselves that we have infinite ways and techniques to create our masterpieces. We can hit the reset button as often as we wish.

Practice #3: Anchor the Day

Life passes quickly, and it can feel like one day flows into the next. The momentum we create in our day can continue when we start the next day. This momentum can be helpful or harmful, depending on how we feel about our day. With regular practice, we can be more intentional in how we interpret and move through our day. Having personalized daily rituals can help us stay out of our own way well before we ever get tempted to block our path.

One of the most powerful practices I’ve incorporated over the years is anchoring my day with gratitude and intention. I start my morning with gratitude for a new day and end the day with an intention to let go of the events from my day. This regular practice has helped me get on my path of least resistance and not get in my own way as often as I used to. I still stumble and make questionable choices, but I do so knowing the choices are mine.

When we anchor our day with rituals, we approach each day as a blank canvas and an opportunity to start fresh. Morning rituals help us start the day grounded in how we want to feel. Evening rituals help us to release the events of the day. Letting go of our day creates an excellent opportunity to notice what we are grateful for.

Anchoring the day with personal meaning helps us see ourselves as partners in this extraordinary life.  What about you? Are you being your best partner, or is it time to slow down and get out of your own way?

Emily

Like what you read? Sign Up for free weekly inspiration with Emily’s featured articles, happiness strategies and videos and you’ll receive my free E-Course ‘Self-Care Success: Adopting a Self-Care Mindset That Sticks’.

Would you like to feel aligned in a life you love? Come check out my Fall in Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’ book on kindle and in softcover and hardcover, or explore the different E-Course offerings on my Love Your Life School. It’s a space to create new habits of thinking that will help you fall in love with your life.

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Emily Madill

Emily Madill is an author and certified professional coach (ACC), with a BA in Business and Psychology. She is one of Thrive Global’s editors-at-large and a coach at BetterUp. Emily has published 12 titles in the area of self-development and empowerment, both for children and adults. You can find her writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul:Think Positive for Kids; The Huffington Post; Thrive Global; TUT.com; Best Self Magazine; The Muse; MindBodyGreen; Emerging Women; TinyBuddha; Aspire Magazine; and others. Emily has a private coaching practice and an online program, offering courses that support women to create lasting habits around self-love, self-awareness and all things related to time and weekly planning. She lives on Vancouver Island, Canada, with her husband, two sons and their sweet rescue dog Annie. Learn more at: emilymadill.com

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