Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. – Rumi

Letting go of stories that hurt us, no matter how true they may feel, is always the best gift we can give ourselves. This has been the hardest and most valuable lesson I have learned in life. It is one I continue to practice and grow from.

Life becomes easier to navigate when we make a conscious effort to “not attach” to our stories with reckless abandon. When we allow our stories and hurts to flow through us without taking hold, we make room for something new and different to transpire. In the very least, we get off the hamster wheel of hurt. 
 
Letting go can be easier said than done when facing difficult situations, people, or triggers in our life. Often the most challenging circumstances are the ones that give us the best opportunity to try this learning on. The deepest wounds present us with the opening to experience the greatest amount of relief and peace, on the other side.

Each time we choose to not become hostage to our painful stories, it gets a little easier to release them the next time. Eventually with practice, we can notice ourselves in a story before it ever takes hold of our spirit. We can let go with ease and grace.

Here are 3 practices I use to help me let go of stories that hurt, and instead make room for peace in my life. If they resonate, give them a try and see what shifts for you.

1) Breathe Grace and Ease into Your Hurt

We can use our breath to create space and a feeling of calm in our physical being. We can also use conscious breathing to connect inwards to our spirit and truth. Accessing our breath as a helpful tool is something we can do anywhere at any time. Deep conscious breathing is powerful.

A few deliberate calming breaths is often exactly what we need to hit the pause button and make room to check in and reset.

It can be helpful to ask yourself powerful questions to access a sense of grace and ease when you are practicing conscious breath work. Here are a few options:

• What would it feel like to allow more grace in this situation? Breathe into that question and give yourself enough space to hear the soft whisper that will come.
• How can I be gentle here with myself, or with others who may be included in my story? Imagine you are inhaling love and kindness to yourself, and exhaling love outwards to extinguish past hurts.
• What might happen when I breathe ease into the hurt, and exhale the need to attach? Allow your breath to flow with curiosity and without attaching to an outcome or story of what is to come next. Just allow yourself to be fully present as you breathe.

2) Be the Writer of Your Story

It is easy to forget we have a say in what we think, and in how we feel act. We can remind ourselves life isn’t happening to us, but rather we receive life and write our story from our unique perspective. When we see ourselves as the writers we are, we gain a sense of hope there is a lighter, more enjoyable route we may consider walking.

Recognizing that other people can’t disempower us and hurt us without our permission, is a shift worth making. Sure, we may still be triggered by others and lessons will be presented to practice standing in our power. But we can notice how much easier it is when we understand that we are in ultimate control of how we feel. We can experience our stories and the people in them in a different light when we see ourselves as writers.

We can write stories that are gentler to ourselves. We can write our stories to feel more compassion for others. We can see others’ choices as being their own, and we can accept people as they are. Our only business is how we choose to think, feel and be. We all have been given creative license to write stories that will lead us to love and away from lingering pain.

3) Forgiveness is Key

The simplest way to let go of something is to forgive. Yet somehow this simple shift can be the most challenging one to make. It is by not forgiving that we continue to hold on to our hurt.

On this bumpy journey of life, we will all find ourselves in places where we need to forgive ourselves, other people on our travels, or experiences in our lives. The bumps become much smoother to travel through when we make the choice to truly forgive.

When we forgive, the hurt and fight from holding on can finally melt away.

How might you give yourself the gift of forgiveness? What will shift when you become the story writer who allows more grace and ease in your daily travels?

❤ Emily

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Written by Emily Madill. Originally published on Thrive Global, The Huffington Post and Medium.