The time to stop wasting time is…now.
How much of our lives do we waste by focusing on what we don’t want, instead of embracing what we do?
When I spend time focused on what I do want in my life, I tend to think new thoughts and make choices that lead me to experiences that feel good.
When I ask myself, “What do I really want here?” The answer is always something related to abundance, never to lack. It might be a feeling of lightness, happiness or love. Sometimes it is connection, adventure or fun.
When I direct my focus toward the things I want in my life, whether it is a desired feeling, relationship, experience, etc., I feel compelled to begin shifting my perspective to create more of that in my life. I can’t help but get in the driver’s seat and begin doing what is within my control to move towards that vision.
The same is true when I focus on everything that isn’t going well in my life, like all of the things I don’t want and everything that is wrong in the world. If I am not careful, this perspective also grows quickly. I begin to see and find new evidence for why things are hard, why my relationships are difficult, or why I won’t reach my goals.
For better or worse, each of us is extremely powerful in choosing the next steps we take in our lives, the next thoughts we think, and the stories we spin. We are very clever at finding evidence to support the lens we are currently viewing life through.
In an effort to tip the scales toward more of what I do want in life, I made this list of 3 easy reminders to help re-direct my focus when I get stuck. Perhaps these simple reminders may resonate with where you are in your life.
1) Ask the Question
What do I want here? Try it, I dare you. Next time you are in a funk or focused on everything that feels hard and wrong, take a minute to slow down and listen. Do whatever it is you do to quiet the chatter in your mind, and then ask yourself, “What do I want?”
When I give myself the space to ask this question, the first answer that comes seems to always be aligned with my truth. When you know what it is you are truly after, ask yourself, “What is within my control to have that feeling or experience?” Then move towards that.
If it helps, write down 3 steps of action that are realistic, within your control, and will support you to move toward your desired direction. See what happens when you shift your energy and story with this new focus in mind.
2) Be Mindful of Your Words and Attitude
The next time you are in a conversation, and you have the opportunity to add to it, see what happens when your words and tone are delivered in a way that is helpful and happy.
Practice what it feels like to refrain from gossiping or being judgmental of yourself, or others around you. Our thoughts and words are powerful and contagious. Notice what happens when you are mindful of the thoughts and words you give life to. Choose the ones that will support you in seeing and experiencing life in a way that is open and joyful.
If you are in a funk, practice for a minute, an hour (if you have it), or the day (if you dare) what it feels like to refrain from complaining about how terrible things are. Give yourself a little reprieve. If it helps, focus on 3 basic things you are grateful for. Above all, be gentle with yourself as you put this into practice.
3) One Step Forward
When you shine a light on what you do want, you begin illuminating the path in the direction of your joy. All it takes is one step forward in the direction of what you do want, to begin tipping the scales in your favor.
With each step, your faith in yourself begins to increase. It becomes easier and more natural to maintain your focus on seeing and living life in a way that sits well with who you truly are.
We don’t have to take giant leaps in life to make change or to create joyful habits. It can be a one-step-at-a-time kind of process. The beauty in this approach, is that it won’t take long before all of the steps add up, and you end up somewhere different and brighter than where you started.
If you get derailed, go back to what you do want. Write or think about 3 reasons why you want to feel brighter, and how things might change for you, if you were to take one step forward.
Life happens while you are in it, so enjoy the steps along your journey. Focus on everything that is already amazing in your life. Use your incredible creative power to embrace the gift of being alive.
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