Confidence Booster Series: Self-Compassion
“It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.” – Byron Katie
There is a lot of power in compassion. Through a compassionate lens, it is much easier to view events and people in a more accepting and loving way. When we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we expand our view of what’s possible. If we can open ourselves up in this way, it becomes more natural to be empathetic and ‘less comfortable’ judging others quickly or unfairly.
I have a strong desire and interest to look at how ‘self-compassion’ plays a role in the way we show up in the world.
For almost a year now, I have had the great pleasure of creating these confidence boosters. The main objective has been to inspire others to feel good about who they are and to encourage people to look inward at their relationship with themselves.
The relationship we all have with ourselves is the most important one we will ever have. The health of this relationship, and the extent we believe in ourselves, has an enormous impact on the decisions we make and how we show up in our daily lives. When we have a strong relationship with ourselves, we are more resilient and peaceful compared to when we do not.
Every week when I sit down to write these, I force myself to look inward. It isn’t always easy and the insights I have through this quiet time of self-reflection sometimes makes me sad, mad, happy, excited, and on and on. When I come out on the other side of this creative and often emotional process, I consistently feel like my desire to inspire others helps me to learn new insights I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
The process involved in writing and sharing has helped me to learn and grow. It has strengthened the relationship I have with myself and has helped me to feel empowered. More than anything, it has given me the realization that it is nobody else’s responsibility to give me the acceptance and love I crave, the kind we all crave. It is up to me to do this, and this is something I’m definitely capable of doing. We all have the power to build strong relationships with ourselves.
It has felt natural for me to feel compassion for others and to forgive others for hurts. It has also felt instinctive to have empathy for people who find themselves in dark places. When I transfer this same mindset over to myself, it is much more challenging to give myself this same level of love and compassion for the mistakes I’ve made, or for the hurts I’ve caused. Having this realization filled me with sadness and hope. Sadness that I don’t easily offer myself this same gift I would gladly give to others, and hope that I have some control and say in the matter to change this.
Whether we are surrounded by friends or loved ones, each of us walks a solo journey. The level of kindness and compassion we choose to feel and share is up to us. The more we choose to fill ourselves up through the amazing gift of self-compassion, the more likely we will be to show up as our authentic selves. When we truly accept and like ourselves, for our imperfections and all, we are more likely to freely give the same gift of compassion to others around us.
So this week, while you are going about the whirlwind of everyday life, practice giving yourself compassion for where you are, or where you are not. Do it through the way you talk to yourself. If you catch yourself engaged in self-defeating talk or behavior, stop in your tracks and say something kind to yourself. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a close friend or to a young child. Be mindful of the words you speak out loud, they hold a lot of power and can be contagious.
Set aside some time this week to write yourself a letter. Write it as though you are writing it to a really close friend or someone you deeply love. Fill the letter up with gifts of compassion for any tough situation you may be in, or for anything you may be hanging on to that causes you to be hard on yourself. Then read your letter and while you are reading it, let it sink in that this letter is a gift ‘for you’ that was created ‘from you’.
It can be challenging to soften our inner-critic and strengthen our inner-cheerleader. When we consistently practice boosting ourselves up with conscious effort, it becomes easier to truly believe in ourselves and our greatness. Have the most amazing week!
Believe in Yourself – ❤ Emily
If you are interested in connecting to who you are on a deeper level, or if you would like to create a self-care and self-love practice — come on over and join our growing community within my E-Course, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’. It is a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you.❤