Confidence Booster Series: Soften Your Heart
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.”– Lena Horne
I recently attended a workshop on cultivating resilience in our children and I was struck by something the presenter said. She talked about the importance of helping children keep a soft heart and not become hardened as a result of bottling things up. She spoke about the need for children to have support and a safe space to experience and work through their emotions in order to become more resilient.
That is a very basic summary of what was an extremely thorough and informative presentation. The reason I share this insight is because it caused me to start thinking about how common it is for us as adults to bury uncomfortable emotions deep down where we don’t have to face what may be painful or inconvenient.
I am all for creating a positive spin on things and often strive to learn and grow from life’s bumps and bruises. I live much of my life under the belief that there is no sense in having a ‘pity party’ over things I can’t control. I believe that rolling with the punches and not being taken out by life’s blows is the very definition of resiliency. In saying that, I was a bit taken aback by my abrupt realization that I’m often guilty of stuffing things down to avoid feeling vulnerable and exposed.
It’s so much easier to try to compartmentalize emotions and disappointments to fit into a neat and tidy box with a pretty bow on top. However, I realize that doing this only means I delay the inevitable and must still carry around what can become a very heavy box filled with unresolved feelings and emotions. Doing this often enough can create a substantial burden that over time can lead to a closed off, hardened heart.
It is quite liberating to see that sometimes what is really needed is to give ourselves permission to sit in discomfort, have a good cry if that’s the feeling we need to work through, and give ourselves a little compassion and understanding. It’s okay to not always have it all figured out. We are human, and as such we have been gifted the opportunity to experience a wide spectrum of feelings throughout our lives. Stuffing them down only causes us to suffer.
How we come to a place of softening our hearts is as unique as we are. I find yoga is a wonderful way for me to connect to my true feelings and create a sense of compassion for whatever I may be feeling. Some people may find connecting with nature, journaling, watching a movie that evokes emotion, or listening to music to be helpful in initiating the release of some of the bottled up emotions that can weigh us down. This week, if the mood strikes, give yourself permission to do whatever speaks to you to soften your heart a little. It’s amazing how freeing and uplifting this can be. Have a wonderful week.
Believe in Yourself – ❤ Emily
If you are interested in connecting to who you are on a deeper level, or if you would like to create a self-care and self-love practice — come on over and join our growing community within my E-Course, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’. It is a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you.❤